Boost Mobile haz been my sel fone company for many yirz, ever sins they took over Virgin, wich took over (forgot their name) wich took over PrimeCo sum time in the 00z, hoo I’d been with sins 1999. I wuz a loyal customer to a seriez uv fickle companiez.

I’m going to be swiching to Consumer Sellular today.


The reazon iz kuz I get a haf duzen callz frum skammerz and solisitorz every day, so wen Boost callz to ask wy I dropped them I can hav the satisfaction uv saying ‘kuz you are moronz’. 

Therez a voise that tellz the name or number calling wen I get callz wen its ringing. Wen its a skammer, it sez ‘skam likely’. Its also ritten and appearz az ‘skam likely’ in the call log. 

Insted uv interrupting me 4, 5, 6 timez a day, they shoud be just completely blocking the callz! DU! 

I had the idea uv starting a class action lawsoot, but just red this:

DAMIT! Another get rich quik skeem swirlz down the toilet.

To get a notion uv how rediculously stoopid the fone companiez are, imajin youre in Walgreenz, normally a nice, peaseful, quiet store, and a sassy yung woman woks up to you and sez ‘Hi! I’m Rachel! We hav been trying to reach you about your car warranty about to expire.” You shoo her away and she runz over to another customer. A minit later a man woks up and sez “Pleaze lissen carefully. We hav an investment opportuniity in the exploding field uv enerjy exploration…” GO AWAY! a minit later and “Hi! I’m Jackie! Hav you been feeling less perky in the bedroom lately? Our aluminum siding is just wut you need to get your enthuziazm up agen!”

See? It aint gunu happen! The manajer will toss them out within 5 minits and call the cops if they try to get back in.   

I dont expect Consumer Sellular to be any better at handling skammerz and spammerz. The entire fone industry iz either blitheringly incompetent or actually competing to see hoo can piss off their customerz the most! AT&T iz lejendary for their incomprehensible billz dezined to hide overcharjing. I imajin the CEOz uv the major companiez on a golf course plasing little million dollar wajerz over how well a new idea to jenerate complaints will work.

‘How about letting criminalz in India plase millionz uv callz a day on our networks?’

“Capital! A grand idea, Chauncey! 2,000,000$ sez we get a call from Congress on this!’ ‘HAHAHAH! Remember the Do Not Call list?’ ‘AHAHAHA!’

I wuz going to rite more, but WordPress haz desided to re-invent the weel for word prosessing and it aint working out too well.

Wundering wuz up with the bad spelling? Read the orijinal post :